Daycare vs. Staying at home

After Alexandra's maternity leave, the demands of finishing her thesis have required her to be at work almost every single workday (and many worknights and weekends) over the past year. She is a working mother, practically a single parent. She has no option to stay at home with Katrina and our situation has forced us to turn to daycare for Katrina. Since I think I have spent more full days alone with the wee beastie what with the couple of months that I telecommuted/babysat before we started daycare, I have the unique perspective of the dichotomy of staying at home vs. utilizing daycare. Similarly, my childhood was spent with a stay at home mother who was intelligent, capable, and sacrificed a full career to raise me. I will admit that before Alexandra got pregnant, I had some trepidation about daycare, because the Way Things Were Done When I Were A Lad felt more comfortable somehow, despite the obvious conflict with the reality of Alexandra's situation and my career. This was put in even sharper relief after Alexandra was pregnant, because we literally had no choice if we both wanted to provide money for our new family--we had to put Katrina in some sort of daycare. Luckily, we were able to find a decent compromise for the first few months between the work I did and the time I spent taking care of Katrina, which involved the help of Anca taking several weeks of leave, and my folks contributing about two weeks of time too. This couldn't have been possible without the understanding of my boss, who will always have a particularly special place in my Hall of Gratitude.

So off the bat, we have no reason to complain, since our jobs were flexible and we had the resources to afford high quality daycare when it was time. Sadly these options are not open to many people, and if both American political parties are truly interested in strengthening the American family, rather than wasting the effort to dictate who can have a family or when or why, they should work together to make it easy to balance a career and a family.

As for the actual experiences, this first year has ended in a draw as to what might be better. Katrina seems to truly enjoy daycare including the kids she plays with as well as her care givers. Staying at home with Katrina is intense, when she's awake, and I found I got little done except for those blessed nap times. It's tiring beyond belief, especially when you're wrestling a squirmy beastie into her jammies for the night, or if she wasn't feeling well. My respect for stay at home parents is immense. It is truly a full time job with the same level of exertion as anything else I can think of. Down the road, the calculus may change, but currently I feel mostly content that Katrina gets enough quality time with us, while still being cared for in a way that allows Alexandra and I to live fulfilled lives and provide for our family. The level of care Katrina gets at her daycare is very high, and we are lucky to have such a good staff in the infant room. Katrina's primary caregiver, Lauren, does a great job with Katrina, and all of the other caregivers work hard to give the infant room a wonderful atmosphere. I can't wait until we're all in the same city, because that will give me a better sense of what will be possible in the future.